Combat Self Hatred and Live Longer

self hatred

When self hatred reigns, you're eroding your longevity.  Our biology listens in constantly on our thoughts and our emotions and then react accordingly by creating either health-enhancing or health-eroding biochemistry.   Self-hatred creates toxic conditions in our cells - it creates hormones and conditions that aren't favorable for our health.  


10 tips to dissolve Self Hatred

  • Grow self-love:  Consider that how you are seeing yourself may be distorted. It often is.  We see all our faults and focus our thoughts on them.
  • Borrow belief:  Learn to listen to compliments from others you trust without rejecting them. A wonderful antidote for self hatred is to borrow their belief in you until you can grow your own.  Learn to say nothing but: 'Thank you' (even if you don't immediately believe it) and then go away with curiosity and muse about why that person sees what you aren't.
  • Practice self compassion.  So you have imperfections?  Don't feel alone so do 100% of all humans and there is no need to take part in a competition to see if you have any more perfections than anyone else.  To be human IS to be imperfect - period. So give yourself a break and do not expect yourself to be without flaws.  Only a machine achieves zero defect.
  • Spin self-hatred away from you: Next time you hear the voice of self-hatred starting up it's litany inside your head, pretend to make it into a character, dress it funny (mine has green tights and a leprechaun outfit), figuratively put it in a star and send it into the distance watching it get ever further away and increasingly smaller until it dissolves.  Relish in the sense of power and control that gives you. This is a great tool to help you with that.
  • Acts of self-love:  Take an eyebrow pencil and draw hearts on the body parts you hold the most self hatred for.  As you do this feel how the soft tracing feels almost like a light caress.  If you're having an especially hard time loving a particular part of yourself - (like your soft belly perhaps) - draw heart on it under your clothing and touch it softly now and again and just say:  "I love you."
  • Maintaining a positive body image:  Reframe how you think about your body.  Are you a large and statuesque tree, or a tall willowy one, a short and rotund one? Remind yourself that nowhere in nature do you find sameness - you get big mountains and small ones, curvy rivers and straight ones, thin trees and fat ones and we're no different, we need diversity.
  • Self-compassionate body kisses:  If a small child was feeling unloved, you wouldn't go over there and kick her, would you?   No, you'd pick her up, kiss her tears dry and hug her.  Treat yourself the same way.  Lean down and kiss the parts you can reach and thank your body for it's incredible intelligence and be grateful for all that if CAN do rather than on focusing on what it can't do.
  • Fake it till you make it:  Self hatred can't exist long when you 'act as if' you're in love with yourself and just keep doing it.  How would you walk if you loved yourself?  How would you speak to yourself if you were in a state of self compassion?  How would you hold your body if you thought you were fabulous? These are great activities to built self-esteem.
  • Stop reading glamour magazines:  It takes only 70 seconds of looking at a glamor magazine for your self hatred to grow.  If you want to buy a magazine, think about your other passions and buy one based on that instead of one that is guaranteed to make you feel 'less than.' 
  • Talk to yourself with love:  What names do you call yourself and your body? If you look in the mirror and say things like, "You fat disgusting slob,"  STOP!  Yes - just STOP!  Yes you can!  Know a name you'd rather call yourself and immediately say it 3 times with conviction.  I love how Katcha calls her body 'dear' - you can listen to that short snippet:

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